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deepmind.google·6d ago
AI Engineering
Hacker News·Jul 1·5 min read
Why I Stopped Arguing with People
TL;DR
Many engineers prioritize being technically correct in arguments, often leading to isolation rather than understanding. The author learned that correctness does not equate to effective communication or relationship building.
✦ Why It Matters
Engineers should prioritize collaboration over correctness to enhance team dynamics and project outcomes.
Key Takeaways
- Focus on building relationships, not just winning arguments.
- Recognize that correctness can lead to isolation.
- Embrace collaboration for better team dynamics.
- Shift perspective from being right to understanding others.
Full Summary
Engineers often engage in arguments to assert technical correctness, believing that clear logic will persuade others. However, the author found that these arguments frequently stem from ego rather than a genuine exchange of ideas.
Over time, they recognized that being correct does not always lead to positive outcomes in discussions. Instead of winning arguments, they experienced social isolation and resistance from others.
This led to a shift in perspective, where the author began to value collaboration and understanding over simply being right. By embracing this approach, they fostered better relationships and more productive discussions within their teams.